Wednesday, June 8, 2011

We Apologize for the Convenience: Scenes from Retail.

Me: "Thank you for calling ___ ____ _____, this is Baylee how can I help you?"

Customer: "Ya, I just bought a blow-up bath pillow and it won't blow up."

Me: "Oh well just bring it back in and we'll either give you a refund or exchange it for one that will work."

Customer: "I live two hours away from your store. I don't want to drive back."

Me: "Well unfortunately we cannot give you a refund without the merchandise sir."

Customer: "Well I don't want another one, the package says it's made in China, that's why it doesn't work."

Me: "I see. If you're unhappy with the product we can issue you a refund if you come back to the store."

Customer: "I don't want a refund, I want one that will work."

Me: "Well I would be happy to exchange the pillow for one that does work."

Customer: "Well none of them will work because they're all made in China."

Me: "If you don't trust the product sir, I would be happy to give you your money back."

Customer: "I don't want my damn money I want something that's not made in China! I bet everything in your whole store comes from China doesn't it?"

Me: "Well actually no sir. Just to clarify, would you like your money back, or would you like to exchange the product?"

Customer: "I want THIS product to be made in the damn UNITED STATES!"

Me: "Sir, it sounds like your problem would be better handled by the manufacturer of the pillow itself..."

Customer: "Well, can you connect me to them?"

Me: "No sir, no I cannot."

Customer: "Well....... do you have anything made in..... I dunno, Taiwan? I like Taiwan."


  1. Taiwan - slightly friendlier than China but mostly just cause it's smaller.

  2. Why exactly does a man need a blow up bath pillow? Is he like the man who lived in the tub from the Truman Show?

  3. Gwen, this is an excellent question.. one I will try to remember to ask him in person if he comes in the store...

  4. Wow some people are amazing! I had a lady yell at me one time because there was Spanish instructions on the back of a gift card. I told her I couldn't change that fact and she threw it at me. Oh the joys of retail!

  5. I had a man complain that the latest Harry Potter movie wasn't the complete story and run out of the theater yelling, "HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SELL ME TICKETS TO HALF A MOVIE YOU CHEAP BASTARDS!"

    Personally, the latest movie was my favorite.