Friday, April 13, 2012

We Apologize for the Convenience: The customer is always right, unless they're a dumb racist.

     Today someone broke the cardinal rule of Customer Service. That one golden nugget of retail sales that has existed since the world's first salesman invented the wheel and attached it to his box of wares, thus becoming the world's first travelling salesman.
The Customer is Always Right*

    You'll be astounded to know that is wasn't even me who broke it, but my boss. That's right- one of the Lifers- who's only job is to make customers happy and employees miserable and who- through an overabundance of unnecessary training workshops- have been conditioned to never, EVER, say no. 
      But today they did say no, and for that I will always have at least a tiny bit of respect for them.

Manager: Mam I can ring you up over here if you're all set.

Customer: Oh thank you! This trash-can you have, I found it for forty dollars cheaper at another store- can you price match?

Manager: Of course! Let me just verify the price at the store you found it and we can do that for you!

Customer: Fantastic. Also I would like to use my coupon on that as well.

Manager: Unfortunately I can't do a price match and the coupon, but don't worry you're still saving way more by just doing the price match than if you had used your coupon!

Customer: I was told I could use both, and if I can't I'm going to leave!

Manager: I'm sorry it's company policy, so if a friend told you that they misunderstood...

Customer: It wasn't a friend, it was one of your employees!It was that colored lady over there! (points to an employee)

Manager: ........ Excuse me? Mam I am definitely NOT going to take your coupon. Have a good day. 

So from now on the Golden Rule of retail gets an asterisk-  

                                              *unless you're a dumb racist