Thursday, September 29, 2011

Scenes from Retail.

Me: Ok and the coupon saves you four dollars so your total comes to $37.95

Customer: Wait, the coupon is only for one item?

Me: Well, yes, but it automatically comes off your most expensive item to save you the most money! *Giant smile and fake enthusiasm in an effort to ward off the inevitable...*

Customer: Oh. Well, I thought it was off my entire purchase...

Me: Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that, how about if you come across anymore you just bring them back in and I'll apply them towards today's purchase?

Customer: But I thought it was off the entire thing. It was a little unclear.

Me: Well as you can see on the coupon itself right here it says "Off one single item".

Customer: Well how was I supposed to see that?

Me: It's the biggest thing on the coupon.

Customer: Well, I was confused by it.

Me: *twitch*

Customer: I found it confusing.

Me: I am very sorry about that. Did you still want to purchase these items?

Customer: The coupon. It was confusing.

My Brain: GGGHAAAAAAAAHHHHH %*&$#@!!!!!

Me: I am so sorry about that, let me see what I can do to accommodate you today....


  1. Would you say your soul is like 50% dead by now? 75%? 90?

  2. When I worked at Wendy's:
    Customer: "What are the Chili Chips and Cheese?"
    Me: "It's chips with chili and cheese on top."
    Customer: "OH! Well I don't want THAT!"

  3. soul death is currently around 45% but mortality rate is increasing exponentially...
    If I were to graph it, it would def look like this:

  4. P.S. the tragedy of that link not working is not lost on me...