Me: Hi! Are you finding everything okay today?
Customer: Yes, thank you. *Dramatic Sigh*
Me: Um. Okay, well let me know if you have any questions.
Customer: Well obviously I have a question!
Me: Right, of course, I'm so sorry. How can I help you?
Customer: I'm shopping for a mirror for my granddaughter's room.
Me: Well we have these ones for 19.99...
Customer: Yes but the reflection isn't as good, see? (proceeds to hold mirror in front of her, facing me) Don't you look kind of fat in it?
Customer: I mean in general. Don't you look fatter in cheaper mirrors? You see, my granddaughter has some self-esteem issues.
Me: Well how much did you want to spend?
Customer: Well I don't want to spend more than twenty dollars, but I want a high quality mirror. My granddaughter is 8 but she is kind of husky and I don't want to hurt her self-image.
Me: Uh-huh. But you're buying her a full-length mirror because...
Customer: Oh I'm going to glue little pink hearts and princess crowns and jewels all over it so she is inspired to look like a princess!
Me: Well, we have these ones for 49.99 but I don't think you would want to glue things to this frame.. it's really nice.
Customer: Exactly! I want a cheap, high quality mirror that will make her look thinner, with princess things on it to build her self-esteem. Why doesn't anyone carry that?
Me: Unfortunately, we can't really sell products for less than it costs to make them... so the high quality stuff is more expensive. That's generally how retail works.
Customer: That's a load of crap! I saw this same mirror at Wal-Mart for fifteen dollars! (pointing to 50 dollar mirror)
Me: Wow! That is a good deal! Really, it's pretty miraculous! You know what? Why don't I just call them to confirm that, and if so, I will sell you this mirror for fifteen bucks!
Customer: Oh well, maybe it wasn't the same one... now that I think about it, that one kind of made everyone look fat too.....
Me: Oh. Bummer.
Customer: (holding both mirrors side by side, facing me) I guess you only look a little fatter in the cheap one... (puts it in her cart)
Me: You have a lovely day Mam... (analyzes own reflection a bit longer, slinks away to break room to eat cheese and cry a little)
*No wonder this Woman's granddaughter has self-esteem issues.