Friday, May 17, 2013

Corporate Sagas- The Final Straw

From: Baylee Steele
Sent: Friday, 3:28 PM
To: Lindsey Gustad
Subject: the voice in my head wants me to break things.

I apologize in advance for this. If you want to just sort of skim that’s fine.
I’m writing you this email on Friday afternoon because I am so horrifically bored I want to cry because I’m at reception dealing with a tiny voice in my head that’s going “just punch someone in the face Baylee… you’ll feel so much better…”

I truly think we should have a room with a few punching bags in it. That is the healthiest way to relieve stress and anger. I mean think about it… every doctor and therapist in the world agrees that bottling up your anger and stress and not expressing it is the LEAST healthy way to deal with it.

And yet.

Company policy pretty much dictates that that is how employees should in fact handle these issues. The benefits of having a punching bag room are numerous.

All employees would be able to express anger and frustration as well as relieve stress through physical activity. And since we all have like a ton of those things, we would all be using the room a lot and be in much better shape.

Studies have shown that this type of outlet actually prevents the proverbial “going postal” event where someone has a meltdown and either lashes out at another employee violently enough to receive a restraining order, or at the very worst brings an assault weapon and mows us all down.

I’m just saying.

Because I have wanted to hit something ALL DAY and I’m not allowed to even though it would make me a better person. If I could have just gone into a back room for ten minutes and worked up a little sweat hitting a punching bag the rest of this day would have been better for everyone.

But nooooooooo any sort of inclination toward violence even if it’s not towards an actual person is a) unacceptable in a “business environment” and b) considered highly unattractive in a female.


*You should all know I put my two weeks in today. I'm going to be a Nanny now. I know, you're like "What Baylee? You..... kids.... that doesn't seem safe...."

More on this career change to follow.

1 comment:

  1. We have a punching bag in the basement...hope that helps you from hitting the children. ;)